The Purina Diet

[ellanoize]

I used to have a Labrador retriever & one day I was buying a large bag of

Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked

if I had a dog?.



On impulse, I told her that no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again,

although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last

time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care

ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms....



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.



I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.



Horrified, she asked if I went to the hospital because I'd been poisoned.



I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.



I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door.

[Father Dave]

two ditch diggers were on their lunch hour sitting under a tree watching a large Doberman licking his privates. one said to the other..."damn wouldn't you like to be able to do that too?"
the other worker says "naaaaa- i'd be afraid that damn dog would bite the shit outa me!"

[Forbidden Passions]

*LMAO*
Kinda gross but funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*lol

[Father Dave]

a young brave goes up to the chief and asks-"chief-you name all the new papooses...how do you do it?"
the chief looks at the brave and says..."i am in the birthing tent and when the new one arrives- i go out of the tent and the first thing i see becomes the name- like your sister "lone fawn" and your cousin "flying eagle"...but why do you ask "two dogs fucking"????

[Forbidden Passions]

poor child!!!*LOL